At What Point In The Process Can Someone Tell People They Have Written A Book?

There are some achievements that, for us regular people, just feel so good to share with the world. These are feats that have been unequivocally agreed upon by the general public to be considered impressive. I am a sucker for regularly being considered impressive. Finding ways to ‘innocently’ slip into a dinner party conversation that, “I ran the New York and Mumbai full marathons,” or “I did Vipassana in 2020,” or “I have delivered two TEDx talks.” I know…it is sad that I care so much for external validation that I would run forty-two kilometers across a city, or meditate in silence for ten straight days, or spend months preparing for an eighteen-minute talk. But that is just how I am wired. Slight joking aside, though, these were some of the most remarkable experiences of my life – each of which I have described in detail in earlier blog posts.  

But I digress. The message that I am trying to communicate is that many humans use the power of achievement to stand apart from, or above, others. And the more digestible the achievement, the better. Imagine someone proudly telling a group of new acquaintances that they ‘discovered a variant of the nuclear fission principle.’ Most people, at least non-physicist people, would have no idea how to respond to this string of words, thus limiting the chances of exciteable reactions from the audience. So that is why most of us ‘validation junkies’ pursue activities that will serve our own inner desire for adventure, growth and expansion while ensuring others both admire and are envious of our accomplishments.  

Now let’s replace ‘discovered a variant of the nuclear fission principle’ with ‘wrote a book.’ Sharing that you have written a book is one of the easiest ways to have people be both interested in and impressed by you.  To ensure that conversation continues beyond the statement. This is because most people have a life-long relationship with reading and books, allowing them to follow up with multiple questions and comments. Also, deep down, most people dream of writing a book, so when they hear this brought up in conversation, they re-connect with their own desires about one day being a best-selling author. 

Given that I have already self-diagnosed myself as a ‘validation junkie,’ it is no surprise that I have recently written a book (I think). For the longest time, I used to tell my family and friends, “I am thinking of writing a book on helping people find their dream jobs.” I quickly realized that no one cares about speaking with someone who is thinking about writing a book as this is far from impressive; it is just ordinary.  Soon after that profound realization, I was up in a beautiful hill station called Panchgani, located in Maharashtra, India. While there, I just started writing. I cranked out a few crappy chapters and left with my head held up high. Now I was no longer someone who is just thinking of writing a book; I was someone who was actually writing a book.

The problem with this ‘writing a book’ phase is that people keep asking the same questions, “How is the book coming along?” Or “When will the book be finished?” Or the brave ones would ask, “Can I read what you have written so far?” Trust me; these are not fun questions for someone who only has a few crappy chapters written that are submerged in a sea of electronic dust in the ‘Books I am Writing’ folder on an aging MacBook Air. Eventually, I just stopped talking about the book as the pros of being thought of as a future author did not outweigh the disappointed looks on people’s faces or awkward silences that I had to endure after I deflected questions about my book. 

Then Covid-19 entered into our lives, completely disrupting the world as we knew it.  My birthday trip to Australia planned for March 2020 was canceled, and my wife and I ended up spending the lockdown in a friend’s farmhouse in a quaint town called Lonavala, located between Mumbai and Pune. The only way that I could feel better about the fact that I no longer was going to be spending my 40th birthday with friends and family on the beaches of Sydney was by telling myself that the lockdown means that I could finally finish the book. And that is precisely what I did, waking up at 6:00 am every day and writing for hours. It was a surreal experience to witness the words pour out of my head and onto the computer screen. I would write until I drained every ounce of creativity gifted to me by whatever external force that had been assigned to ensuring I complete this book and then move on to the rest of my day’s tasks and activities.    

After one month of living this routine, the first draft of the book was complete. It was by no means perfect, but I could confidently say that the essence of my career journey and philosophy about identifying and securing a dream job was neatly encapsulated into the 50,000 words of the manuscript.  Then my wife edited the book, followed by my sister-in-law, both offering hundreds of feedback points and their testament that the book was pretty good. I was still a little skeptical about the book’s merits, though, since I knew it would be hard for close family members to tell me that my book stinks. So I bravely requested my dear friend Marian to edit the text. Marian is a professional journalist and author from Germany who now resides in Istanbul. He sent me more than one thousand points for feedback and, most importantly, his validation that the book is solid and will profoundly impact people’s lives.  

So here I am. Back at the same lovely farmhouse in Lonavala, riding out another Covid-19 lockdown, nearly a year after finishing the first draft of the book. The eighth draft of the book is now complete, and, honestly, I am finally thrilled about the content. While I have appointed a literary agent, I am slightly stalling the publishing process as the pandemic would impact my ability to travel to places where I can promote and talk about the book once it is published. I know the virtual platform always exists; however, I believe that nothing can replace physical interaction. So this is where things stand with regards to my book. But I am still left with the same question I started with: 

“At what point in the process can people tell people they have written a book?”

Is a manuscript a book when the writer feels that it is done? Or only when a publisher converts it into a fancy package complete with nicely smelling pages sandwiched between neatly designed covers, with the author’s photo and bio on the back sleeve? Can I now refer to myself as a writer or author, or am I still just a shmuck who is writing a book? Is a book really considered a book if it cannot be found on Amazon? If a book has been published and is on Amazon but rated a 0 with only negative reviews, is the author allowed to talk about it in public? These are age-old philosophical questions that need to be studied by our brightest minds. For now, I will just sit with them while I push my agent to get me a good publishing deal, so no one ever needs to be convinced that I am, indeed, an author who has written a book.