The Dream Killers
We all have goals, aspirations and dreams. They are what gets us up in the morning, what has us feel fulfilled, what gives a sense of purpose and meaning to our lives. When not pursued, though, they can leave us feeling hollow and empty, or create a vacuum in our hearts that sucks our creative energy, confidence and worthiness into a black hole. This sounds extreme, but we have all been there. For many of us, Covid-19, its associated lockdowns and extended periods of ‘work from home’ has taken these positive feelings to new heights or the negative ones to depressing lows.
When it comes to your goals, aspirations and dreams, the way to ensure constant motivation and momentum is by first being aware of the dream killers. These killers are mischievous, cunning and grow in power the more you surrender to their sneak attacks. They portray themselves as friends, people only looking out for your best interest when, in reality, they merely want you to put an end to all this silly talk about pursuing something that matters to you. The most jarring part, though, is that these killers can never be killed. They will always be on your path, and the only way to defeat them is by acknowledging their existence and then continuing on your journey. So who are these immortal killers destined to haunt you for the rest of eternity?
Dream Killer #1 – Fear
Fear is the ultimate killer as it paralyzes people, prevents them from even thinking about taking the first step on a road that has the potential to lead them to limitless joy and fulfillment. We have all experienced fear. However, the fear that is aligned with your path towards greatness is not the same fear that typically shows up when you hear a loud noise in the middle of the night or on a flight that hits a heavy patch of turbulence. No, the fear that I am referring to is less abrupt; it finds a way to wrap its sticky tentacles around your goals, aspirations and dreams without you even being aware that a creature has entered the picture.
So what is fear? It is an unpleasant emotion caused by the threat of danger, pain or harm. It typically implies anxiety or loss of courage. And based on personal and professional experience, the fear that usually arises when you are on a path towards something that matters to you manifests in two disempowering ways:
Fear #1: Fear of the unknown or being unknown
It is essential to understand that the presence of this fear means that there is something important at play. That you are on to something big. Also, to realize that while its methods may not be pleasant, this fear is trying to protect you. So try to dig and discover the nugget of wisdom hidden inside of this fear. What is it trying to communicate that you can carry with you along your journey? Finally, recognize that it is temporary and has no substance. Just as quickly as it arrived to disrupt your creative thoughts and feelings, it can retreat into its favorite hiding place, your subconscious mind.
Fear #2: Fear of Failure
This fear is the part of you that is only considering the worst-case scenario. It has the unique ability to direct and produce a short film in your head where you, the lead actor, pursue your path, fail miserably and end up broke, homeless, hungry and single. This is exactly what our mind does when injected with fear. It conveniently forgets that we are capable beings equipped with the ability to achieve success in areas aligned with our core strengths, passions and purpose.
Before getting too deep, though, it is important to understand what failure is not. It is not a sign that you are not as capable as someone else. It is also not proof that you are not worthy of success or do not have something valuable to offer the world. So then what is failure: it is merely a sign that something did not work out as planned or expected. And, most importantly, failure is rich with information.
The beautiful phenomenon about failure is that you can transform any situation where you did not achieve the expected results into something positive through insight and action. This is possible when you objectively acknowledge that the results did not meet the set target, grieve, reflect, recalibrate and move forward. This can take moments, days, months or even years, but the key is to reflect and keep moving forward. When you look back, you realize that the new possibilities created resulted from the reflection, insights and aligned action associated with the so-called failure. So you cannot truly fail; you can only learn and access information that will guide your journey towards greatness.
Dream Killer #2 – Inner Critic
The inner critic is a close cousin of fear. It is the less intense but far more annoying member of the dream killer family. This is the part of your ego that constantly offers unsolicited commentary about its favorite subject: you. Its weapons of choice are disempowering statements and unpleasant bodily sensations. Similar to fear, its intentions are good, but methods are far from desirable or productive. Also, similar to fear, its favorite time to attack is when you think about or are on the path towards doing something unfamiliar or deeply long for.
The inner critic will definitely join you on your journey towards your goals, aspirations and dreams. The thing to remember is that the inner critic wants to protect you. It wants you to play small. It does not want you ever to leave your comfort zone and enter into a place where you may fail, be exposed or hurt yourself. So it taps into its two weapons and shoots out statements, usually imprints from your past, that will prevent you from moving forward. Comments like, “You are not good enough,” or “Nobody likes you,” or “You have no talent.” You get the point. And to make matters worse, it unleashes a fury of associated bodily sensations like sweats, stomach knots, or a rapidly beating heart to make you believe that these statements are true.
I recommend that as you start and move forward along your journey, take time to identify your inner critic. Give it a name and personality. Catalog its disempowering statements, so they do not sneak up on you at any point. Also, create an inner champion. This is an opposing voice to your inner critic that showers you with appreciation, praise and empowering comments. Get to know one another. Let it understand how much you respect its voice and presence in your life and prove your loyalty by allowing it to be the loudest voice during periods of potential stress or transition.
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